Castello di Tassara Interior
2023 Masterclass with Solli Kanani in Tassara, Italy
When I sat down to write this article, so many experiences and memories flooded me, that it felt overwhelming. It was hard to know where to even start. This wasn’t just a workshop, it was an exercise of vulnerability and connection.
I had the honor of visiting Castello di Tassara in the fall of 2023 as part of a Food Masterclass photography workshop led by Solli Kanani, a Paris-based, award-winning photographer and Nikon Europe Ambassador. I met Solli via another photography retreat in Møn, Denmark earlier that summer, and immediately felt a connection to her creative spirit. Solli is a talented artist, and passionate image-maker who emanates a quiet softness and kindness that feels rare in the world. Her stunning images of food drew me in via her Instagram page, and when she announced her retreat that Fall, I immediately began planning a way to attend it.
Traveling alone to Italy felt scary and intimidating. I have traveled alone in foreign countries before, but never a place where I didn’t speak the language. I had been warned of dishonest taxi cabs and pickpockets, and I was guarded and on alert. On some bad days of my two-week journey, I cursed the country, with its seatless squatting toilets, miscommunications, and backwards bureaucracy. Some of my hotels were disasters, with no internet connection, and rusty water coming from pipes. I lost a credit card, and had to find a way to contact my bank from overseas quickly. The language barrier was frustrating, and I found myself feeling like the typical ignorant American, with my lack of experience and knowledge, and my expectation of modern creature comforts. Every other day though, I met some absolutely wonderful strangers, and their kindness melted my heart. There was the kind taxi driver who let me pour my heart out to him, and who made sure I made it to the front door of my hotel, the front desk worker, who let me check in early so that I could rest from a long day of traveling, and the beaming market stall owners, who generously allowed me to photograph them.
We met as a group of four at the train station, where a driver was waiting to take us on the two hour journey. As we neared our destination, a thick fog coated the rolling hills around.
At our destination, greeted by Solli and her sister, we unloaded our bags upon arrival in the late afternoon, the heavy and grey swirling mist around us, giving the castle a sort of mysterious and almost eerie quality. After introductions and a tour of the castle we began our night in front of the large stone fireplace, warm with a crackling fire. Soothed with glasses of wine, we shared our backgrounds, and why we were there. I found myself pouring my heart out about my love for photography and a deep need to travel. The pandemic had taught me so much about myself, and the years of lockdown and fear had created a burning desire in me to experience the world.
The morning of our first day, the fog lifted, revealing a stunning soft golden landscape around us. Waking up to the sound of church bells ringing, I took my coffee into the courtyard to explore, wandering inside to find more of the beautiful corners of this stunning home. What seemed like endless families of cats wandered the property, and every now and then, they managed to sneak into the house, sleeping on the plush couches, and chasing one another.
The heart of Caterina Benello, owner and matron of the castle, shown through. Family photos covered surfaces of beautifully carved tables, and thick books documenting her extensive world travels with them covered the enormous coffee table. There were African safaris and long hikes on enormous mountain peaks, desert plateaus, and stories of exploration and adventure. As we spoke more, I learned about her history as a doctor-turned-veterinarian with a love of horses and other animals. Her passion for design and deep-rooted Italian hospitality breathed life into every corner.
Beyond the technical and classroom aspects of photography, this gathering was about our group’s shared passion for storytelling through images. Conversations stretched late into the night over glasses of Italian wine, as we exchanged experiences, challenges, and aspirations. Our camaraderie of like-minded creatives, gathered in such an inspiring place, was nothing short of magical, and each of us opened up in new ways surrounding the heavy wooden table in front of the wood burning stove, guided by the delicious food, wine, and warmth. Our hired chef, Vanja Zaric, prepared meals that celebrated seasonal ingredients and local flavors such as homemade pasta, rustic vegetables in rich sauces, and delicate desserts.
We enjoyed several styled photograph sessions, including an incredible styling session, hosted by Barbara Bocedi, owner and curator of Cucuti, a charming Italian B&B located on the Piacenza Hills, in Valtidone, Italy. Her expertise in styling a table to create a scene of warmth and “home” created the perfect scene beneath the portico attached to the covered barn. Amid the gorgeous ceramics, fruit and vegetables, and candles, we watched as she created a masterpiece for the senses.
Later, in a converted barn in the glow of a wood burning stove, our group followed along as Solli taught us the art of workflow through editing and culling, incorporating tone, color, Lightroom enhancements, vignetting, and using gradient to highlight our focus.
On our last morning together, I packed my camera and took one last look at the warm hues painting the landscape in the morning sunlight, I knew this experience was something special and to be cherished. In the window, a cat sat, curled tightly on a desktop, surrounded by fried flowers. Each of us sat wistfully, talking about our experience, wishing it would last just a little bit longer.
Merchant’s Row, Philadelphia, PA
A Visit to Rennes Shop
This past weekend, Trent and I took a much-needed trip to Philadelphia—a chance to step away, decompress, and reset after the hustle of the holiday season. While exploring the city, I made a point to visit one of my long-time favorite clothing shops, Rennes, a place that has held a special place in my heart for years.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
Rennes was founded in 2008 by designer and artisan Julia Okun, who began her journey by crafting handmade clothing and leather goods from her studio. From the start, she documented her creative process on her website and blog, Rennes.us, offering a window into her meticulous craftsmanship. As someone who appreciates both thoughtful design and intentional living, I followed her journey religiously, drawn to the quiet beauty and simplicity of her work.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
In 2017, Julia expanded her line and moved into a brick-and-mortar space at Merchant's Row, located at 135 N. 3rd Street in the heart of Philadelphia. This transition allowed Rennes to evolve beyond clothing and accessories, offering a curated selection of household heirloom pieces, finely made garments, candles, perfumes, and other objects designed to last a lifetime.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
What has always drawn me to Rennes is its deep-rooted philosophy—one that echoes old-world traditions of both European and early-American craftsmanship. The brand embodies values of simplicity, humility, and intentional living, expressed through clean lines, durable fabrics, and a focus on functionality over excess. Every piece feels purposeful, blending the timeless elegance of minimalism with a quiet refinement that resonates with those who seek meaning in the things they bring into their lives.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
Stepping into Rennes is like stepping into a world where beauty exists in restraint, where each object tells a story of patience, skill, and care. For those who appreciate understated craftsmanship and pieces that transcend trends, it’s a place worth visiting.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
If you find yourself in Philadelphia, I highly recommend stopping by:
Rennes— 135 N. 3rd StreetPhiladelphia, PA 19106 Website: rennes.us
It’s more than just a shop—it’s a testament to the enduring power of thoughtful design and the art of living well.
Rennes Shop, Philadelphia, PA
Noguchi Museum, 2025
The Art of Holding Space: Reflections from the Noguchi Museum
I remember first seeing Noguchi’s Akari light sculptures and iconic coffee table years ago. Their forms felt both weightless and deeply rooted.
On a recent trip to New York City, we had the rare chance to choose a museum to visit between destinations. As we sifted through a long list of remarkable choices, I felt an immediate pull toward the Noguchi Museum, just outside the city.
Have you ever encountered an artist whose work lingers in your mind, creating a space of stillness and curiosity? Someone whose creations, woven across different mediums, form a story that resonates deeply? Noguchi’s artistry spanned architecture, dance, furniture, sculpture, and space itself. He shaped not only objects, but the way we move through them.
As I walked through his museum, I felt that same quiet presence—his works whispering their own memories. In one section of the museum sat a collection of 3D models of buildings and spaces he designed as proposals. These never came to fruition, yet he kept them. Why would someone hold onto models of projects that were never realized? Perhaps he felt that the very act of creation was the art, and was enough to exist as just a dream or memory. It made me wonder: Do all creations, even the ones that never reach their intended audience, still hold power? Does art exist for the creator first, and the world second? This notion challenges our attachment to tangible success, reminding us that some ideas, even if unrealized, still hold value simply by having been imagined.
This idea of unseen impact lingered with me as I continued exploring. Then, I noticed a quiet moment unfolding in the next room. As I wandered through the sectioned rooms of the museum, I came across an old woman sitting on one of the museum-provided fold-out three-legged stools. She held a small, blank notebook and sketched as she gazed at an enormous 5-foot stone sculpture. The sculpture contained the etchings and carvings of patterns, creating intricate designs that trailed across the rough texture. She wasn’t sketching the sculpture itself, but something entirely her own. A quiet response to the space Noguchi had shaped. It struck me that art is not just about the object, but the atmosphere it creates for others to enter and interpret in their own way. It is a wonderful reminder that the work we create, the philosophies that we embody, and the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and others can hold space for others in the future and create an impact we may never know.
Noguchi’s work is a quiet invitation—to reflect, to create, and to shape spaces for others in ways we may never see or fully understand.
Photo Feature with Rachael Hoffman, PHd
Tell us a little bit about yourself, what your background is and what you are currently doing.
I work as a psychologist and specialize in neuropsychological evaluations for children and teens. These evaluations can help to answer a variety of questions related to how individuals solve problems, understand and learn new information, and regulate their emotions and behaviors. By answering these questions, I am able to recommend appropriate supports, such as academic interventions, behavioral health treatments, and strategies to try at home. I started my own private practice several years ago, and currently have an office in Regent Square.
As far as my background, I have provided assessment and therapeutic services in schools as well as inpatient and outpatient settings. In addition, I have had the opportunity to teach and supervise graduate students as adjunct faculty. I obtained my PhD in School Psychology from Duquesne University and specialized in neuropsychology during my internship and residency. While I was earning my doctorate, I worked in several research and technology roles, and these continue to be areas of interest for me.
What does a typical day-in-the-life look like for you?
It varies quite a bit! On some days, I meet with children and their parents to complete the intake and testing part of evaluations. The intake and testing portion starts with identifying the questions we hope to answer through the evaluation, discussing developmental and educational history, and exploring any other factors that may be relevant to the evaluation process. This discussion is followed by assessments that I complete directly with the child, which examine domains such as reasoning, information processing, memory, and academic achievement. Throughout the assessment process, we also spend time in conversation and may play games or engage in other creative activities.
Each evaluation has a fair amount of “behind the scenes” work as well, and that is my focus on other days. This part involves things such as scoring and interpreting the assessments, collaborating with other people such as teachers and therapists who work with the child, and producing a written report. Once the report is complete, I meet with families to have a conversation about the results and recommendations.
In addition to my clinical work, I spend time each day attending to various administrative tasks, such as scheduling and billing.
What do you like to do in your spare time when you are not working?
Hanging out with my husband, dog, and friends is my favorite way to spend time. I also enjoy staying active, discovering new music, experiencing new places (whether near or far away!), reading mystery novels, and eating good food.
What led you to make the decision to start your own practice?
It was actually rather serendipitous. I previously worked within a small hospital that underwent considerable change during my time there - part of which involved discontinuing neuropsychological evaluation services. I could have stayed on in a therapeutic role, but my professional interests and specialization are more assessment-focused. As I considered various options, a mentor and friend of mine encouraged me to think about opening my own practice - and I am so glad she did! I was incredibly fortunate to continue to have her guidance, feedback, and support along the way as I established my practice.
What has been the most challenging part of running your business?
Trusting the initial ‘leap’ into self-employment was probably the most challenging (yet ultimately most rewarding) part for me.
What surprised you about becoming a psychologist that you didn't anticipate before you started?
I never realized how often I would get “Are you analyzing me right now?” types of questions when talking about my job in social settings (for the record: No, I’m not. I’m off the clock!)
But, on a more serious note: children and adolescents have such unique and insightful perspectives on the world - even more so than I expected when entering the field. It is a privilege to gain glimpses of those perspectives through my work.
What do you wish more people knew about your field?
In the last few years, there has been a rapid boom in awareness and acceptance when it comes to mental health, which has been truly wonderful to see. There are an ever-increasing number of resources devoted to helping individuals care for their mental health. At the same time, I have also seen misinformation about mental health conditions gaining quite a bit of traction (e.g., a recent study found that over half of the most popular TikTok videos about ADHD were misleading). My hope is that we can all think critically about the information we consume and seek professional support for questions or concerns about our own mental health.
What sort of goals or projects do you have planned for the future that you are excited about?
One goal that I am working toward is revamping my report style. I am passionate about producing reader-friendly evaluation reports that are useful and easily understood by parents, teachers, and others who may read them. Right now, my reports include a written narrative and tables with scores, but I’m working to find ways to present results in a more accessible fashion, such as graphics and bulleted summaries. I hope to also take this a step further to develop resources for children that help them to communicate about their own unique strengths and needs.
How can people best get a hold of you if they want to work with you?
My website is the best starting point for scheduling as well as other information about my work.
My Journey to Slow Living
I’ve been delighted to see a growing trend in the term “slow living” in the last five years or so over various social media accounts like Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest. Maybe you have seen it as well and have been curious about the philosophy. Visually, the term typically translates to dark or muted colors, minimalism and simplicity, nature and natural beauty, slow food or culinary experiences, self care, and well-being.
I think often about an experience I had in 2018 while at the height of stress in an office job. I was wearing many hats, while also trying to hustle a side business as a photographer, take care of my body and home, and plan for the future. As a coping mechanism for the constant stress, I loved to take walks around my neighborhood in the city and let myself be drawn into the various plant life and trees in the park and people’s yards.
One particularly stressful week, I realized that my walks weren’t giving me the same peace and space of mind that they usually did. My head felt cloudy, my senses felt dulled, eating had lost all pleasure and had become a chore or a way to escape. I leaned down to smell a flower, and realized with horror that I couldn’t smell it. This was a time before Covid, and a time before the conversation about losing sense of smell or taste had become a topic of conversation. I chalked it up to stress, a cold, or hay-fever, but the feeling stuck with me, and I couldn’t shake it. My stress was affecting my well-being, and I knew that something had to change.
As a form of art expression, photography was my muse, and I had been exploring different ways that I could incorporate more expression and beauty into my imagery, and wondered how to express the feelings that I so wanted in my own life: Peace, calm, intentionality, gratitude, love, and joy. I had begun to follow various people on Instagram who shared similar philosophies, and came across an opportunity to travel to Toronto for a lifestyle workshop where we would photograph various home goods, well-made clothing, and two beautiful models in the home of a well-known local couple, John and Juli Baker in their bespoke home above their Toronto shop, Mjolk.
Even though it was not within our budget at the time, I bought a spot in the workshop, purchased a plane ticket, and booked an airbnb to participate. My goal was to get closer to the philosophies of slow-living that my heart was so drawn to.
During the workshop, I was blown away by the energy that Gillian and Emilie brought, the beautiful people who had been attracted by their offering, and the serenity of the home we were in. It was so overwhelming, that I found myself pushing back, and intrusive thoughts continued to creep into my mind.
“This can’t be real, I’m sure it’s just an act.”
“The only people who live this way are rich.”
“They must come from family money.”
“They must have had more support at home growing up.”
My mind couldn’t grasp the amount of care, thought, intention, and focus that came together to create everything around me in this situation.
My thoughts soon turned to reasoning that I wasn’t worthy.
“I guess this type of life just wasn’t in the cards for me".”
“Some people are are born lucky.”
“I am not talented/rich/connected/beautiful/knowledgable enough to make a life like this for myself.”
I sat with these feelings for a very long time, trying to get to the root of where these feelings were coming from, and doing my best to work through them.
I sat down and made a list of all of the things that I felt I needed to break through these personal barriers. On this list included: Having a stable home (we rented at the time, and were constantly fearful of having to move if our home was sold), stability in my finances, health, an education, and travel.
It took 5 years, and in this time, I took a pay cut to work a less stressful job, graduated with my Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, put enough money away for a down payment for a house, moved across the country to buy a new home, and started a new life full of intentionality and slow-living.
There were many, many in-betweens and hardships to this story, including a pandemic, an earthquake, the traumatizing death of one of my cousins and her husband, and countless meetings with a therapist who helped me break down the ways in which I was holding myself back from pursuing my best life. I realized through these experiences that I believed life was hard and painful, and that some people had it luckier than others, and to be grateful and happy with what I had.
Today, I am so happy to report that on my walks around our neighborhood and park, I breath easier, with my senses fully intact, carrying less stress, and knowing that my life and time has more intention for the life that I long to live.
At the heart of the slow-living movement is the dedication to philosophies of mindfulness, intentionality, slowing down, authenticity, simplicity, nature and sustainability, and finding the joy in the every day.
I hope my story resonates with you, and inspires you to continue to look inward to what desires you have in order to align yourself with your own slow-living lifestyle. This way of living requires constant awareness, and it is important that we understand that we never “fully arrive”, and that it is more of an evolution than anything else.
I love hearing about your stories and journey with the slow-living philosophy, and I can’t wait to connect. I read every comment, email, and message you send, so be sure to drop a line.
Verina and Fred: A Love Story
It’s my absolute pleasure to bring Verina and Fred onto the Journal today to share their love story. From the moment I met them, it is clear how much these two adore each other. Verina is also a very talented photographer (find her work here!), and Verina and Fred will often do photoshoots together. Verina and Fred also have an adorable little boy, Fred VI (named after his dad!), whom they lovingly refer to as “Jūn”. They live and work in Lehi, Utah.
Where/when/how/why did you two meet?
Freddy and I met on his twenty-first birthday through our mutual friend Gavin. I had gone to school with Gavin and ran into him at a homecoming luncheon. We got talking about my mission to Taiwan, and Gavin asked if I knew his best friend Freddy from high school who also served in the same mission. Funnily enough I knew exactly who he was talking about. Freddy and I had never officially met, but I knew exactly who he was. How could anyone miss someone so handsome? Gavin invited me to Freddy’s birthday party that night, and that’s where we officially met.
Who said "I love you" first?
It was definitely me! I’m pretty sure it slipped out my mouth when Freddy was dropping me off one day. I remember closing the car door and saying “love you!” and then blushing and watching an embarrassed smile from across his face as I turned to leave.
What is your philosophy for keeping your love strong?
Fred and I come from very different cultural backgrounds. We have always known that it would be inevitable that we’d change as people individually and together over the years. Knowing this, we keep our love strong by growing together. Even though we both have changed over the years, we’ve been determined to stick together even when it gets tough. Communication with a lot of kindness, humility, and forgiveness is key to keeping our marriage strong.
“We have always known that it would be inevitable that we’d change as people individually and together over the years. Knowing this, we keep our love strong by growing together.”
What is your favorite thing to talk about?
My favorite thing to talk about is growth! I love going on long car rides with Fred because that’s when we really get talking, and I love touching base and talking all about growth. Growth is everything to me! It means changing, achieving goals, making dreams come true, and traveling!
What is your favorite activity to do as a couple?'
My favorite activity to do as a couple is going on photo shoots together! Freddy recently got me my first film camera, and I can’t wait to start using it together. It’s a Kodak reusable Ultra F9 film camera.
What is your favorite way to show your love to each other?
One of our favorite ways of showing we love each other is making food for each other and making a little heart sign to each other wherever we go.
Tell me about your favorite trip together as a couple.
Our favorite trip together has definitely been the one we took to San Francisco in May 2022! It was the first trip we took together as a little family with our son Freddy Jūn. We always talk about the importance of being in the right mental space when on vacation or traveling. This time we got to that space much faster than we have in the past. It allowed us to relax a little more and enjoy the little moments.
Thank you so much, Fred and Verina for sharing your love. Your relationship is #goals! You can find more of Verina at her website: https://www.verinachenphoto.com/ her instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/verinachenphoto/ and https://www.instagram.com/verinachen/ , and on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/c/verinachen
A Weekend Escape at Heartwood Cidery & Farms
When escaping for the weekend to a place like this, always remember to pack extra food to share. You never know when you’ll have the opportunity to share it with a couple who are also escaping for the weekend and make great conversation around the fire while you roast s’mores.
If you are a romantic camper, like me, you think about tents so big you can stand up in them and a warm mattress and a pile of heavy blankets, with an outhouse nearby. You fall into Pinterest dark holes about beautiful cabins and big tents with lots of room for a mattress and piles of warm blankets. You dream about the smell of the campfire, the feel of the firelight on your face while you drift off in your camp chair late into the night.
We found Heartwood Farms & Cidery while looking for an uncrowded outdoor weekend trip in the Toronto area. Heartwood is a cidery, homestead, farm, orchard, and maple syrup harvester. They offered one of 4 semi-permanent campsites on their 42-acre farm, separated by orchards, apple trees, flowers, and gardens. Exactly what the doctor ordered.
Val and Brent, the owners, along with their son, Kieren and a community of other Ontario farmers and producers all come together to create a four-dimensional experience of home-grown, built-with-love business.
When we arrived, we were greeted at the cidery, where we tasted their incredible hand-crafted ciders. We chose the Freckled Countess, a dry cider flavored with Earl Grey tea, strawberry, and some Ontario maple syrup, the Hoppity, a 6-apple blend and Ontario-grown hops, Eva Goes Badass, a cayenne and ghost pepper cider sweetened with honey, and Fiona’s Dreamscape, a dry traditional cider with a fruity aftertaste. True lovers of cider, the art, and the process. From the hands of the growers to the small-batch fermenting room, this cider has all of the soul of the people and community that contributed to bringing it to life.
After our cider introduction, we were given a tour of the 42 acre farm. We met the animals, including Nellie, the farm dog, and Reggie, the rebellious kitten, who rumor has it, will sometimes wander into people’s tents and sleep with the guests on their beds. We also met the pigs and piglets, the hens, the sheep, goats, and llamas.
We made veggie burgers and grilled corn in the outdoor kitchen and shared it with our fellow campers, who eventually joined us for drinks and dessert around the campfire.
Interview with Cienah Miller
Tell me a little about yourself, what is your background as a model?
My name is Cienah Miller, I am 34 years old and have had the privilege to work as a model since I was 16 years old. I have walked in the annual Galas for OC Tanner and Ferrari and acted in many local commercials and international commercials. As of 2021, I became SAG Union-eligible due to a Mercedes Benz commercial that has been airing since December 11th, 2020.
I have shot music videos, short films, local and national boutique clothing, jewelry shoots, and expressive shoots, traveled the world, and have met so many amazing people in the industry that have become great friends and mentors. You name it I have worked it.
I was offered a contract with a local Utah agency “Talent Management Group, LLC.” This agency gave me my roots! My agent took a chance on me, and the rest was history, I am still in contact with these amazing women. I signed in 2013 and released myself in 2020. I look back and can’t believe how many projects I was a part of and sometimes I get the itch to go back and do it again, it was a thrill
-How did you first discover modeling, and how did you get started?
I started becoming infatuated with the idea of becoming a model when I was 5 or 6 years old. This was back in the day when my mom still shopped at Wet Seal, this store was the Forever 21 of her day. This store had T.V. screens at the back of the store, stacked together to make a wall of one screen. They were near the dressing rooms for entertainment that made shopping with your mom bearable.
Michael Jackson's ‘In the Closet’ came on with the most beautiful woman, Naomi Campbell. I was captivated by seeing someone so beautiful and with my skin tone that was portrayed as desirable come on Michael Jackson made you want to dance. My mom came out of the dressing room to ask me what I thought about an outfit she was trying on, I pointed to the T.V.s and asked my mom “who is she mom?” my mom said, “that is supermodel Naomi Campbell.” That experience was engraved in me at a young age, as I grew up people would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I would say “a model.”
I was scouted by Erin Olson in 2003, at the Utah State Fair Park. I had lived in Utah for 2 years. Prior to living in UT, I lived in Honolulu HI, new to UT and not having too many friends yet surrounded by family in UT I was really flattered and excited to have been scouted. It’s always much more flattering in my opinion to receive compliments from women vs men. I was signed to “W Models” in SLC, UT, let’s just say that in the beginning I didn’t work much meaning I did bookings here and there, but “W” was nothing compared to where I ended up down the road with TMG (Talent Management Group, LLC.).
-What is your favorite project, company, or product you have ever modeled for? What made it great?
Selecting one project as my favorite is hard, each project taught me something new about myself and about the industry. Each project was a different experience, this is why I gravitated toward the path of modeling. Modeling taught me to embrace different parts of me, be in the present moment, expressing myself with actions and emotions in requested ways to portray a director’s story. That director could be more than just a movie director. What I mean by the director is; The Designer, Photographer, Brand, Emotion, and Product. I learned to channel ideas and concepts on camera with my full body, facial expressions, and real emotions.
That being said, my favorite project would have to be an international commercial for Mercedes Benz that was shot in Portland, OR for 10 days with a 30-page script. I know, I know a 30-page script is not much compared to a movie script. This was the longest speaking role I had booked on camera, I auditioned on my laptop in my bedroom, while my daughter 9 at the time fed me my lines on my recorded audition. After an audition you feel confident or unsure, you really never really know and ultimately the decision is up to the casting director and if you fit their idea. I felt unsure, to say the least after that audition then I got the call from my agent, and I had booked the part!
This project is very sentimental to me in how I booked it and that it challenged me to do and be something new. You book it, get to set and you learn what it really takes to make and capture the scenes and the story for the ideal and prospecting consumer. For 10 days, call time was 4 am every day in the lobby and into hair and makeup, and wrap time was at 7 pm or 8 pm. You live, eat, and breathe your role, watching playback with the director and crew to see how you portrayed things and how you can tweak things, so they read differently on camera. You really learn spatial awareness it’s so fun to see it all come together. A mental game I began to play is, how well can I translate this scene to get it in the least takes. Truly the best experience from beginning to end.
-What do you wish more people knew about modeling?
People think that modeling is just being a pretty face or having the perfect body. Sure, that stuff is ideal for print, runway, or commercial print work. There are so many models in the industry that are educated and really just fortunate to have this work as a fallback while pursuing other personal goals. I’ve been in situations where someone on set would say “we aren’t paying you to be smart, we are paying you to be pretty.” That has got to be the most ignorant and hurtful thing I have ever heard on set and said to a human. Modeling is a skill, being vulnerable, becoming a chameleon, and mentally strong to push through an 8-hour or longer shoot pretending you’re ok while you have your own personal life going on in your mind while not showing it on your face takes mental strength. Never underestimate a model or anyone based on their profession.
-What advice would you give to people who are looking to become models?
Do your research, and know what industry or segment of modeling you want to be in. Speaking or nonspeaking commercials, print, runway, abstract art. Know your facial expressions and how to convey them clearly, body positioning, and language awareness. Know your angles and how images of you will be portrayed.
Networking is key during projects and events, always put your best foot forward and be prepared as best as you can prior to auditioning and on set. Learn about the modeling agencies in your local area and how they filter into the industry. Does the agency book their models frequently, if so, what projects have their models booked and can you see yourself representing the work they book? How can this agency increase your footprint in your industry and are you able to build a trusting professional relationship with your agent? Are their models happy?
Know that you aren’t going to book everything you audition for and know that that’s just fine. Mentally strong enough to stay self-positive and optimistic in all situations. Don’t pay outrageous fees for modeling courses…these are not real. When starting out you may not book the highest paying bookings but learn something or skill from each experience and apply that to the next opportunity you book. Every opportunity you book could turn into another so always be present and prepared, have conversations with other models and learn about them and how they navigate through things. Never discuss your rate or ask other models on set theirs…that’s tacky and none of your business or theirs.
Don’t feel obligated to do free work, free work doesn’t pay your bills. Make sure when you book a project or a shoot someone knows the location and estimated duration so that if anything happens you will be safe. Your agent will know this but always have a friend or family member know this as a backup.
-What is something you would change about the modeling industry if you could?
Incorporating more than just the “token” black woman in ad campaigns became a topic during the BLM movement in 2020 then faded away. I think just having more than one woman of color on set or in a scene is crucial. I remember when my friends and I would audition for the same roles and only one of us would book it knowing that they would never have two black women in the same booking. So, I would change that, just having more women of color on a project than just the one to check off your inclusion box. This creates a space for “others” to showcase themselves and inspire other girls that see themselves in others. I mean I remember when the Spice Girls came out and I only saw Scary Spice so just having a variety of women of color allows girls to see themselves in a way that they feel seen or can be when they grow up.
-What advice do you have for photographers who want to work with models like you?
I would say check agency pages for the types of models you want to book. If they are on the agency website, they are more likely to have some sort of social media (IG) portraying the work they have done. Scroll through their page to see if the way the model is what you are looking for, DM and ask the model if they are interested in working with you on a project. Give them the option to book directly or through their agency, many agencies would rather their models send all requests to them. This is proper etiquette as to not muddy the waters between agency rates within the market and manage future rate expectations
-What does your current life look like right now, and what does the future hold?
Right now, I have decided to take a break from being on camera. I have a 12-year-old daughter who fills my time up with soccer, school, and hormones. I am working fully remotely for a cybersecurity firm and couldn’t be happier with my work-life balance. At times I do get the itch to go back to my agency which still welcomes me, if the time came that I could fit modeling in my current lifestyle I wouldn’t mind shooting speaking commercials and moving more towards acting.
-Are you still accepting projects, and what is the best way to book you?
I currently consider projects on a case-by-case basis, I won’t shoot just to shoot or shoot for brands or companies that don’t share the same morals/truths as I do. The best way to book me would be through email Cienahakesa @ me. com
A Trip to Stockholm and Copenhagen
A Beautiful Mess
This is not a picture of a mess, but I took this picture at a time when I was trying to remind myself that model-home status is not the norm. I have two cats, and there is a fine layer of cat hair and dust on everything at any given moment, and takes minutes to settle again once attempts are made to clean it up. Sometimes I feel like my home life is a never-ending string of to-do lists and tasks to keep up, and I'd like to snap out of it and just live in it sometimes. I get tired of being so critical all of the time, which is the driving force of a lot of what I do on a day-to-day basis. I have the tendency to fixate on what could be better instead of seeing my home for what it is- years of careful collecting, editing, and loving moments.
This is a reminder to exercise gratitude and to use positive reinforcement to get things done. I feel so much happier when I'm appreciating my things in such a way that I am cleaning them to let their beauty shine, rather than scrubbing and sweeping and wiping to control them.
Here's to beautiful messes everywhere.
A New Find
This beautiful fusion of bud vases caught my eye at the Urban Flea. It was expensive for flea market standards, but I couldn't resist.
I planted tiny tufts of green-leaved plants in there shortly after this. Those succulent buds pictured were from my yard, and leaked a milky-white liquid when I cut them, which turned out to be incredibly potent. I washed my hands afterwards, but the residue stayed, and after touching my face, it went numb and red and swollen. I googled it, and apparently you are supposed to wear gloves when handling these type of plants. They are also very toxic to cats.
A good reminder to be careful when handling plant-life. Things that look pretty aren't always safe.
Learning to Love You More
Yesterday I went outside for a walk through the grounds of the Capital, one of my favorite places lately. There were tourists out and about, and two in particular, who were wearing the long yellow robes and shaved heads of common buddhist monks. I met one's eyes and remembered a book I read at the end of April called The Art of Happiness. I started and finished it in three or four days. It was at the end of tax season at the accounting firm where I work, and my mind and body were so exhausted, I remember feeling paralyzed, and not knowing where to begin again.
The book is full of questions between the author, Howard C. Cutler, and the Dalai Lama about finding peace within ourselves through meditation and thoughtful thinking, developing patience, and learning to control our thoughts to create a happier and cleaner space in our minds. The authors questions were incredibly thoughtful, well-put, and relatable for me, which made these things seem more attainable. It's easy to think "That doesn't apply to me, we live in completely different worlds", but at the root of each question, I found I couldn't escape my responsibility to the world.
The Dalai Lama talks about the existence of suffering in our world, and the common Western reaction to it, which is to reject it. We see suffering not as something inevitable, but something to avoid, and even snuff out. We take a lot of very careful precautions in order to avoid suffering, and in the process have forgotten that it is a part of our human existence.
With this incredible opportunity to view the world through consciousness, it is our fate to accept our personal suffering and overcome it with the power of compassion and love. To love yourself is to love another, and to love another, you must love yourself.
Seeing those two monks so close to home brought me back to the moment when I decided to accept the challenges of my everyday life no matter how large or small.